Family Background.

With regard to the influence of family background, three possible interrelated mechanisms are mentioned: genetic heritage, learning and the constitution of his/her personality, and emotional imbalance.

I ask myself now whether my problem is inherited, or whether it’s what I’ve seen, or whether I’m a dissolute person. Because my older brothers aren’t like that. The women are, though, they lied about shopping, they always said it cost less than it had; well, not when buying food; then, they said it had cost a bit more. The presence of two drinkers and an excessive spender in the family is posed as a possible genetic factor and also as a problem that could have led to her problems of emotional instability.

Reckless spending and the repeated recourse to loans to cover debts were constant in the family economy, even before he / her serious problems with buying started. This, and the habit of deceit about spending, clearly seems to be behavior traits learnt in his / her parents’ home.

I’ve just remembered my mother paying the bills in installments and in order to pay the rent for where we lived…, they never had money… So I think that I never saw anything that would have served as a good foundation… While I lived with them, my parents never had any savings … My mother had the habit that, when she bought something a little expensive, she wouldn’t tell the truth to father, she would say it had cost a little less.

With regard to her personality, the author is torn between the possibility of having inherited an inadequate personality—coherent with her behavior of selfish buying that harms those closest to her, and which generates a strong feeling of guilt—and the idea of being a victim during her childhood and youth of a damaging family setting that has led to pronounced emotional instability, which, in turn, has produced a loss of control over her behavior.

I don’t want to seem like a victim, but at the rate I’m going, I’m doing badly. I have the sensation that I’m wrong in the head, or that I’m a pig, like my parents and my little brother. Life has given me a lot of upsets and I’m paying dearly for them; what hurts most is my family member.

Crisis in family relationship.

A pattern frequently emerges in descriptions of cases of addiction to buying that can also be observed in this diary: Diverse psychological problems and inappropriate buying and spending habits are the background, or the antecedents, of addiction to buying. But that behavior pattern is habitually triggered in all its severity following a life crisis.

In this case, the crisis was caused by her perception of social isolation upon the birth of her second child and aggravated by the prior estrangement from her parental family and her work milieu. The qualitative change in his / her economic behavior materialized in the start of a private parallel reality of credit and purchases, unknown to her husband, in which there were no limits.

A friend (lady) of my – Helen was left very much alone after the birth of my second child, because of a quarrel with her parents a year before, the row with her brother, then stopping work, getting cut off from my friend. As she didn’t have anyone to leave the child with, that put an end to going out and dinners. And not only that, the relationship with our group of friends was nearly completely broken, because we stopped going out, even for a walk. That’s when she started to feel bad, lonely, with a complex, she had bad headaches and she didn’t have anyone around. Leaving the hospital was terrible… After that, Helen started to go very fast, because she think she was going slowly at first.

In the eyes of the diary’s author, her husband did not provide the help she needed at the time, and that was the determining factor in the start of the buying spiral. Helen also have to offer her opinion about her husband, because she think that if he had understood her a little, perhaps some of that could have been avoided… In November, he had a farewell dinner for a friend; well, he went to the dinner, it cost him X amount of money, Helen don’t know how much, but he spent more that night than he had ever spent on his wife and children, all in one go. That hurts a lot when one feels lonely. Well, Helen didn’t stop him from going; instead she said he should find a little time for both. That’s where she thinks the problem started, because he was earning and Helen was spending.

The author goes on at great length in her description of the lack of consideration, or even abandonment, in her husband’s behavior. Although at no point does she explicitly say so in her diary, in various passages, the reader gets the impression that taking revenge on her envy and anger on seeing couples and husbands and wives with their children, and me alone. Of course, she continued spending and buying.

In short, Helen proposes possible genetic causes, and she affirms the role of learning or socialization in consumption and spending, the role of low self-esteem, and the importance of a life crisis in triggering a spiral of buying and spending out of all control. After analyzes her behavior and its motives, besides the above-mentioned factors, she suggests the possibility that her will is another factor that has guided her behavior when she wonders whether she has inherited an inadequate personality and distinguishes between the motivations for confronting her low self-esteem and “buying for the sake of buying.”

Addiction to buying, also known as compulsive buying constitutes a compulsive pattern of acquisition of products that is analogous to drug addictions. Based on market research and prevalence studies estimate the scope of the problem in different countries at between 1% and 7% of the population.

However, in western consumer societies, a growing tendency has been noted of buying, which is impulsive, recreational, and compensatory for negative emotional states, and the percentage of consumers who are prone or vulnerable to addiction is estimated to be between 19.5% and 25% of the population. These figures indicate the social relevance of this phenomenon, which is not limited to a small percentage of subjects suffering from a mental disorder, but instead reflects a socio-cultural tendency whose medium- and long-term consequences should be considered.

The definitions of addiction to buying include as key characteristics a perceived difficulty in controlling one’s impulsive and excessive buying behavior, its chronic nature, its functions of emotional repair and of symbolically improving self-esteem, the development of a strong psychological dependence, and its damaging effects at the economic, psychological, and family levels. Similarly, they point to learning processes as factors that explain the difficulty to control the behavior and its repetitive nature, and they acknowledge vulnerability factors of a cultural, social, situational, and psychobiological nature.

The above-mentioned perception of difficulty to control, linked to the highly impulsive nature of buying, has led to different and, at times, contrary interpretations of the nature of addictive buying, even going so far as to indicate that addictive buying can present characteristics of voluntary behavior. This latter point of view has also been defended by other authors in the field of addiction to chemical substances (Megías et al., 2000; Peele, 1987) and of impulsive behavior in general (Baumeister, Heatherton, & Tice, 1994). These different conceptualizations are directly related to the different conceptual models of addictive behavior and to the issue of addicts’ personal responsibility for their own behavior and aspects.

In my free time, I’m quite enjoying dining out and playing sport, and share a passion for fishing. My boat is docked at ONE°15 Marina Club at Sentosa Cove, and they take it out as often as possible. Not discouraged by the paperwork, they enjoy cruising to various spots in Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia for a brief docking and visit.

My family stays Singapore, a main reason being my children’s education. The eldest, Gwen (16) and Rebecca (13), want to finish high school here. They have a lot more freedom here than they would have back home. Because it’s so safe, I don’t have to worry as much.

Living here has given them opportunities for traveling, meeting new people and picking up new interests, which has not only allowed them to gross’ personally, but have also made them bond more closely as a family. Life in Singapore is sometimes stressful, but there are so many advantages. It’s important to embrace all the different cultures here and try not to get overwhelmed by everything.

A beautiful home, a loving family, endless possibilities for exploring new places and trying new things — the reasons why my family decided to stay.

As part of our school curriculum, the Form 5 World Cultures class went on a trip to Angkor Wat in Cambodia, where we absorbed the region’s rich culture and history. Our class visited numerous temples such as Preah Ko, Pre Rup, Neak Pean, Kbal Spean, East Mebon, Banteay Srei, Banteay Samre, Bakong, the Rolous Group, and the magnificent Angkor Wat.

Amazingly, all these temples were built purely through human labor, with bricks twice the size as modern ones, and twice as heavy. I was amazed by the architecture, which has stood the test of time for thousands of years.

We even visited Ta Prohm, the temple where Angelina Jolie (Sexy chic) filmed Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Our guide, who was coincidentally Angelina’s guide, showed us the exact location where they had filmed the scene.

This was just one of the many trips that ISS organizes as part of the school programs. It helps the students enrich their life experience, nurture their curiosity, and expand their minds internationally. The trip to Cambodia was a very rewarding experience. I especially enjoyed interacting with the local people, who were peaceful and hospitable. Cambodia, I’ll be back…

Students at our school are presented with a challenge each year to research, plan, organize and then carry out an independent low-cost trip based on the JTS’s action and service requirements. The challenge is known as Project Week…but actually is Fun Week.

For our project, three of my classmates and I had to plan a trip to somewhere in the region to help the less fortunate. Our budget for the trip was set at NZ $500 each and we had to plan everything ourselves, from our airline tickets and visas to accommodation.

After researching the organizations we could help, we decided on Nehemiah House, a shelter for girls who have been sexually or physically abused, in Malaybalay, Philippines. We went on our six-day visit last January.

Nehemiah House is located on a mountain, and it took us 18 hours to get there from the airport. When we arrived, the girls were waiting outside the house to greet us. Seeing them put a huge smile on our faces. There were eleven girls, aged 9 to 23. After introductions, we played some games to break the ice, and we also shared our plans to make over their rooms (the girls had told us they wanted their rooms re-decorated).

When our school described the trip before we left New Zealand, they said it would be a “life-changing experience.” At first I was doubtful, but now I completely agree. I left Nehemiah House with a totally different understanding of what it means to help the less fortunate. My trip made me realize that just donating money is not enough to ease the pain and loneliness of those in need; they also need a friend who can make them smile and give them hope. And love u all.

We went to China last year on a school-sponsored trip to teach conversational English classes. Twenty of us worked at the Fujian  University of Finance and Economics, where we taught classes, culture, movies and played games to help students improve their English.

Our activities included volleyball, dancing, stage performs, exchange gift and leisure activity games. We spent time with the students helping them build relationships by using English. After class, the fun didn’t stop as we had people taking us out to eat or coming with us to enjoy a great meal at the canteen…Very nice food.  One student, nicknamed Ah Boy, loved to hang out with us so much that after we ate, he would show us around the campus until our next class started. We even had two parties to foster cultural exchange while we were there.

We did manage to get away from the university a few times to visit landmarks, and we even found a Wal-Mart! But the best part of the whole experience was hanging out with our new friends. All the best to China, and our new friends in there….

Still remember that my school organized a field trip last year to Malaysia, to learn more about the Malaysian culture.

I couldn’t believe what a huge difference there is between Thailand, Indonesia, Singapore and Malaysia, even though they are right next to each other. Malaysia has no much more land and the houses are very different. They seem to lead a much simpler life there.

A local guide took us to explore the rocky seashore. There were hermit crabs, snails and mudskippers. We also saw mangrove roots, which are called pencil roots, sticking out of the water to absorb oxygen. I was sad to see how polluted the entire area was. When people litter, they do not realize the harm it does to the marine plants and animals.

We also visited a Malay village and I noticed that the girls were dressed differently, wearing headscarves and less revealing attire. This is because Malaysia is an Islamic country. At the local school, we ate Malay food with our hands! It was fun interacting with the students. Their hospitality was overwhelming. It was definitely a great experience for me!

I love Malaysia…..